Celia Lashlie continues to be a quality speaker when on the topic of how dad’s should step up and mum’s step back if we’re going to stem the flood of boys ending up in prison.
Given time and spaceFar too often we exclaim “this is happening NOW” “Get your coat on, shoes, get in the car… let’s go, let’s go, let’s go” This approach is poor people management and when those people are boys… oh dear.
Instead, place things in a time frame. “Dinner is in 15 mins”, “ We’ll be leaving at the end of that programme.”
Boys can and do think reflectively but they may need more time, more support than your average daughter.
Tell truth to boysFinding the simply language that matches the age of your son, your pupils, can be tricky. But telling the truth, putting boys ‘in the picture’ allows them to process the world better. We as adults have a wealth of knowledge and wisdom that our boys seem not able to access. The way we talk to boys needs clarity and conviction Truth wins out with boys over embellishment or exaggeration.
Think then TalkBoys process and then talk or explain or ask as necessary. Women on the other hand talk out loud. Celia did this demonstration and my words would not do it justice but basically women, mums, teachers, talk through an issue and process it simultaneously. That’s a whole lot of talking that, to a boy, is irrelevant. No wonder they stop listening.
Digging down insideOver the years, boys pick up on everything, they may not be able to articulate it but it is all stored deep inside. All we need is the questions (not too many) and the time to allow them to process what is asked and articulate an answer. Boys come across as lazy but the one thing they have access to is that knowledge that women WILL jump in and answer their own question before any thought is required on his part.
Give him the time to process, make him aware it is HE who has to answer, make time for it, let him know you’re not going anywhere until he’s answered – take a newspaper if you think it’ll take a while – maybe not.
- The Power of Mothers:Releasing Our Children by Celia Lashlie
- He'll Be OK : Growing Gorgeous Boys into Good Men by Celia Lashlie
- Celia Lashlie's website